To Love a Traitor

Once u were just someone i was curious about.

Once your travels were simply an adventure to be known.

An immature ,wounded  curiosity may have sensed the power that you wield to destroy

and it called to you for healing  that you could not give.

It was introduced to you,the traitor, and your gifts of separation, duality, power over, deception, survival, denial of  the truth.

and in a  moment of deep regret disconnected from  its natural  healing  embrace  of  unending love  .

Here u are  as i dreaded ,as i sustpected u probably , could be , maybe there

I did not want to see u .

I shut down feeling u until u squeezed yourself free from my grasp  to ooze out thru everything i did and said .

I suppressed u until u mutated a thousand strong and integrated entirely into my life,

until my sense of self dwindled to self hatred and disgust , feeling unwanted and unloved ,

until l imagined how it could  be to disappear from the face of the earth,

so intolerable was the thought of your living in me.

I could not bear even the possibility that you were there , a part of me.

It required of me abilities beyond humanness to accept and to love

abilities we all have access to,

yet feel unworthy to receive .

May the longing of our true self’s heart continually create  first responses

of love everlasting ,  all  encompassing.

May we enter unencumbered into the cave of our own true hearts to

evolve.

 

 

 

Healing of the Reptilian Mind

today the slicing cut of exclusion came in to my awareness. I saw myself in my mind’s eyes, standing alone, apart from the group. disconnected.

” that can never be in truth. in truth for wherever IAM there will you be also. “thank u wise inner coach  for holding that reality steady in my vision.

eyes to see are uncovered now.i have stopped  the icy, pummelting blows of judgement on self and on those i attract to  mirror  to me my inner behavior.

The depth of sorrow in separation  is self imposed.

Held up with gossamer safety pins  of judgement that feel like steel ,

Pieces of me were scattered to the hinterlands to be punished for whatever it was my ego self could not abide

causing my exile

as rar away as i could send them in my imagination,i sent them

in my shame, out of disgust

the door to the past slammed shut

with so much of me  locked inside.

today

i allow the weighted ghosts to fly to their place of belonging,

no longer locked in time

that was not theirs to know.

my presence, is here and now

taking up space

determined to

welcome

what is

transforming it to

its highest potential

this requested rescue of me took place over time

as I,

a cell in the body of life grew

in desire to do my part

to play my note in the grand symphony

whether joyful

or not,

today i feel at home in the heart of life

at home wherever I am

connected,

interwoven,

IAM

here.

 

 

Blog Post

The Reptilian brain is responsible for  our survival, fight, flight , or freeze responses.

 

TheReptilian brain is rsponsible for survival