we may find ourselves a bit angry
when we realize that
things we can grasp with our hands
will only temporarily satisfy us,
shift our attention
from the deep ache to belong to Love
real and true ,
I heard you say to me , “You don’t have to earn my love. There are no standards to satisfy. There is nothing to do or be first.True love is there for the receiving all the time. I AM here for you.”
In the last year, I feel I have come upon the most resistant , fearful feelings that live inside of me. And what a big help it turns out to be that I learned and still review simple tools to let this fear go..albeit slowly, at times…
Holding on to fears is disease in the making . The first thing we do when we feel fearful is to hold our breath ,when taking slow breaths would curb its potential onslaught.
Viewing life from the perspective of consciousness, makes all the difference in the world. We know there is more to us than the body we inhabit. And our day literally turns out well based on which aspect of ourselves we choose to feed. We can nuture our consciousness or everything else.
We experience ourselves as consciousness , as part of the oneness of all life in meditation as we are disciplined enough to outlast the monkey chatter of the mind.We can further clear all those judgements we hold and ones still to come as we go thru our day. They serve only to resist , to block the natural function of the heart …to see love in all things.
And there we have it . Two opposing forces living in one body. How does it all come together?
Wouldn’t you know it would be the heart that bridges the two selves? Not the heart of,” I will love you if you love me.”The heart that says ,”I love u anyway, no matter what.”
I have found true centre as many others before me. A deep well of love is ever expanding there as we give focus to it rather than to fear.
To acknowledge a negated bit of myself , a part of me that I could not bear to own up to in prior moments , this heart of love gently surrounds this unwanted bit of me in the kindest, purest, beat of her fiery heart , and melts the icy stab of fear.It rises in mists of sweet surrender to become part of the whole spiraling upwards. .
When we are in despair , we don’t remember that some bit is ready to come home and its telling us in the language it knows…in the language we unconsciously programmed it to use.
It may sound angry. It may use harsh words.It may yell ” Get Away, you ugly bitch!”
And here is where those simple tools for remaining judgement free come in to play. This is the time ,as all times are, to stay steady . strong. unwavering.centered in the heart.
This the time to say ,”Thank you for letting me know you are there. I love you.I release the judgement I held on you. I accept you exactly as you are. Thank you for what you taught me about life. Thank you for trusting me to bring you home to my bigger self. Thank you for teaching me how to love.”
Did I know the extent of the damage I had done to myself in judging the past? I carried it with me like truckloads of judged art that no one loved.
INflamed tissues, bleeding from within bursting with unforgiven tears, stopped healthy growth in its tracts.
Yes, i prevented me from prospering, from releasing that which needed to go
i was like a thing that had eaten away at itself.
thinking i was revealing the wrongs of others, them, i was also striking at me that i could not see
thank u other, i bow to you , i owe my ever greater vision of wholeness to
Thinking i was due what they had earned ate away at my sense of self. My gifts went cold waiting for my gratitude and attention.
i lost desire to nurture all of me.
yes, all the proper emotions are there to make me a fitting case for sympathy. yet sympathy is inadequate to heal a broken heart. it is too weak to penetrate into the depths of pain waiting to be healed
decisive , soft, fiercely true , is the love i must know
when i choose fear , fear is what i see in every turn. when i choose love, i see the love that has always been and always will be there, sitting with me guarding me, walking with me into the way ahead
it is simple to understand. it is not easy to know.
i shall keep on going.
loving more all the while.
judgement is the color
we paint on life’s canvas
when we have
for this part
of the journey.
let us create
and doing .
let us release
we thought we
had to carry
for whatever we did
or thought , or said.
back to that moment when
i use to fall in love
and seek love from
now i meditate
in All .