evolving heart2heart
must u dig in past the meaty flesh of my heart
to the vertebrae that holds me upright?
the pain of your turning to another is enuf
to numb my desire to breathe .
thank u universe to let me know
to let her be.
to let her play her hand of anger at me out
know that boundless Love is with you at all times ,
feel deeper , past the pain
this nurture can never be diminished
can never be taken away
will never withdraw for any reason
never
choose the higher Love
Sometimes I want to let loose the tears
I have been
drowning in.
my own saddness
born of being inactivty
when my actions were needed,
silence when my voice could offer and open doors
for the ones ready to enter.
I drag around sorrow
I watch what others do with their missed opportunities.
they are drowning too
no matter the disguisse
I see through it.
the external distractions of living will not save us from this tormented heart.
only the courage to step inside all of our being and doing
see,own, gratefully accept
our journey ,
however it is.
evolves our
ability to be fully here
safe,
now
to speak.
What is Self Mastery ?
In a nutshell , self mastery is self control. Further defined, self mastery enables one to have say in how her/his life unfolds. It is a simple path yet it is not easy.
You becoming new can potentially be a daily happening as each insight, each realization is received…by you. Continuing practice strengthens your ability to choose how you respond in the moment to life’s ups and downs.
That singular moment of choice determines your future direction.
Beginning levels are about creating a strong foundation for your life long journey . There is more to us than most of us know through personal experience.
The movies and some seemingly harmless psychotrophic drugs may give glimpses of the more ” glamorous ” aspects of self discovery with disproportionate importance. Some weekend workshops promise you the hard earned diligence of lifetimes ,that of becoming a master, an avatar, for a fee and minor inconvenience to your schedule.
And still, quietly, the natural path of self discovery , travelled by the ancient wise ones, is alive and well. It requires our enthusiastic and ,undeterred desire to do and be better people. It requires commitment to discover our more expansive selves.
You will find no isms here as you enter into your true heart.
Let your heart be your guide. It will call out to you in ways you cannot ignore when you are ready to learn more. Pay attention.
Many paths lead to self mastery. I share glimpses of my study and practice of fifteen years thru classes and coaching.
I felt his little, anxious body periodically bump into mine as I sat watching three of his classmates intently picking through the trove of colorful beads I brought from my collection at home. There different approaches and abilities intrigued me.
I did not really believe that any of them would create anything that could be worn. not really.
Or that they would be able to pass the needle through the beads , or keep the beads from falling off the other side once they successfully got the needle in to the bead’ s hole.
They persisted through all of these obstacles with great childlike determination. It was mastering hand eye coordination and the love of having new ways to play all at once.
Logan wasn’t concerned with all this intricacy. He simply wanted to cut string and he wanted me to hold it so he could. I did not argue. Maybe his little face held too much innocence. I did
not refuse.
I unwound the beading string from its holder and held it so he could cut it. There were success moments to recognize as he got his hand to manuever the scissors just right to get the string to snap in two.
I thought how interesting . The girls want to explore beading beautiful creations and he just wanted to cut string . He was happy with that.
We had repeated moments of seeing each other up close , as I sat eye level. He knew there was no pressure to perform. I was supporting his interest and asking no more of him.
I felt him move away onto another venture . And as quickly he returned with a different curiosity. Can I make a bracelet?
He was impatient to start . I was surprised at his request . And we were out of time. The busses had arrived to take the children home.
All of us reluctantly put these new treasures away with the promise that there would be another time to see what potential lie in the making. It was time to go.
This was a confirmation of how we impact each other, how we learn , how pressure free , how judgement free learning is when we choose it for ourselves. Failure was never part of the equation .
It was again doing something to see how it would be to experience it. I suppose I need these varying scenarios with children of all ages to remind me to stay young at heart, stay innocent in my intentions. Let go of needing to control and master everything. Get to know it as it is.
Be present with it. …eye to eye. Say what you really feel. Ask for what you really want .
Be honest with it. The joy is in the doing . The final product hardly the goal here. I don’t remember so well how they turned out.
It was the feeling the children felt all along the way that gave me pause to reflect and grow.
” Tony painted his teeth green!”
I looked up to see 9 year old Tony grinning widely with forest green teeth , the paintbrush still busily swishing along their exteriors before we could intervene .
This bein g just out of our immediate reach was the ultimate in his exploratory fun.
He was seconds away from us doing what he did best …experiemt to see what things are like. What will they do if I do this ? or that?
Yes, he was still delighting in the sensory as we were momentarily waylayed in wide eyed shock.
Stop !
This direction from several of us simultaneously, his supposed guardians of safety, only gave him more verve,more hutsbah to hurriedly go on. Now he tasted the green colored water housing the little brush .
With ticklish abandon, the remaining water in the cup he flung upwards ,carefree into the air ,splashing and coloring green , the table , the chairs, the floor, his shirt, my colleagues new sweater , her hair …with water color.
All to his great delight! The closed world of a severely autistic child opened for a moment and he filled it with color.
Yes, he did clean up the mess with a grand smile of satisfaction and giggly laughter.
The opportunity to experience this green was worth
the joy of moving his human puppets. It was thrilling .
He had to clean it up. And he did that with laughter,too.
No problemo.
All done! ok . Art is finished. Let’s clean up.
How profound is that?
Imagine with me for a bit how different our lives be if we simply experienced life, for what it is , give it a go, clean it up . and go on.
Without judgent . This is our experience. Be in it. Laugh wildly, enjoy the chance to know it and go on .
Now…
What does the next experience hold?
Let’s see.
u may not b depressed , u may just b carrying around old feelings
of yours or others there
you may not really have pain there
it may be u stuck feelings u didnt want to feel there
u may not be forever scattered
you mught just need to center yourself
going in circles ?
repeating non productive behaviors or treading water ?
its time for an energy shower
if u choose.
are u ready?
turn the pages herein
a path lies
before u,
i can show you
how.
