Sacred Doorway

Pardon me please

I saw you as I wanted to see you , not as you are

I feel ashamed , embarassed , stupid,

humbled,

even humiliated before you

I did not know your  capacity to renew

unaware that you were recording my thoughts, feelings,knowing

I had only a sliver of a notion that you are more than you seem

how else could it be with an design so intricate and perfect?

an organism that can heal it self

that has it s own beauty not needing my limiting vison

placed upon it to change it

to suit smaller , scrunched up

and rudimentary versions of magnificence

I don’t know you still

pardon me please

that I let you live so many days without feeling cherished,

gratitude , appreciation

I am indebted to you .

There’s a reverence you deserve

I cast you aside as an after thought ,

rushing you thru life to achieve something else

and now coming back to see how u are

finally getting it

I thought I loved u

I see , I know that you love me

pardon me , please

dear beloved body

I am here now

bowing before you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Safe ,here, now.

Sometimes I want to let loose the  tears

I have been

drowning in.

my own saddness

born of being  inactivty

when my actions were needed,

silence when  my  voice could offer and open doors

for the ones ready to enter.

I drag  around sorrow

I watch what others do with their missed opportunities.

they are drowning too

no matter the disguisse

I see through it.

the external distractions  of living  will not save us from this tormented heart.

only the courage to step inside all of our being and doing

see,own, gratefully accept

our journey ,

however it is,

evolves our

ability to be fully here

safe,

now.

 

 

What is Self Mastery ?

What is Self Mastery ?

In a nutshell , self mastery is self control. Further defined, self mastery enables one to have say in how her/his life unfolds. It is a simple path yet it is not easy.

You becoming new  can potentially be a  daily happening as each insight, each realization is received…by you. Continuing practice strengthens your ability to choose how you respond in the moment to life’s ups and downs.

That singular moment of choice determines your future direction.

Beginning levels are about creating a strong foundation for your life long journey . There is more to us than most of us know through personal experience.

The movies and some seemingly harmless psychotrophic drugs may give glimpses of the more ” glamorous ” aspects of self discovery   with  disproportionate  importance.  Some weekend workshops promise you the hard earned diligence of lifetimes ,that of becoming a  master,  an avatar,  for a fee and minor inconvenience to your schedule.

And still, quietly,  the natural path of  self discovery , travelled  by  the ancient wise ones, is alive and well. It requires our enthusiastic  and ,undeterred  desire to do and be better people. It requires commitment to discover our more expansive selves.

You will find no isms here as you enter into your true heart.

Let your heart be your guide. It will call out to you in ways you cannot ignore when you are ready to learn more.  Pay attention.

Many paths lead to self mastery. I share glimpses of  my study and practice of fifteen years thru classes and coaching.

Welcome to my world. Join me if you choose.

 

 

 

Can I …?

I felt his little, anxious body periodically bump into mine as I sat watching three of his classmates intently picking through the trove of colorful beads I brought from my collection at home. There different approaches and abilities  intrigued me.

I did not really believe that any of them would create anything that could be worn. not really.

Or that they would be able to pass the needle through the beads , or keep the beads from  falling off the other  side once they successfully got the needle in to the bead’ s hole.

They persisted through all of these obstacles with great childlike determination. It was mastering hand eye coordination and the love of having new ways to play all at once.

Logan wasn’t concerned with all this intricacy. He simply wanted to cut string and he wanted me to hold it so he could. I did not argue. Maybe his little face held too much innocence. I didaccessory-bobbin-close-up-355148.jpg not refuse.

I unwound the beading string from its holder  and held it so he could cut it. There were success moments to recognize as he got his hand to manuever the scissors just right to get the string to snap in two.

I thought how interesting . The girls want to explore  beading beautiful creations and he just wanted to cut string . He was happy with that.

We had repeated moments of seeing each other up close , as I sat eye level. He knew there was  no pressure to perform. I was supporting  his interest  and asking no more of him.

I felt him move away onto another venture . And as quickly he returned with a different curiosity. Can I make a bracelet?

He was impatient to start . I was surprised at his request . And we were out of time. The busses had arrived to take the children home.

All of us reluctantly put these new treasures away with the promise that there would be another time to see what potential lie in the making. It was time to go.

This was a confirmation of how we impact each other, how we learn , how pressure free , how judgement free learning is when we choose it for ourselves. Failure was never part of the equation .

It was again doing something to see how it would be to experience it. I suppose I need these varying scenarios with children of all ages to remind me to stay young at heart, stay innocent in my intentions. Let go of needing to control and master everything. Get to know it as it is.

Be present with it. …eye to eye. Say what you really feel. Ask for what you really want .

Be honest with it. The joy is in the doing . The final product hardly the goal here. I don’t remember so well how they turned out.

It was the feeling the children felt all along the way that gave me pause to reflect and grow.

 

 

 

Swish !

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” Tony painted his teeth green!”

I looked up to see 9 year old Tony grinning widely with forest green teeth , the paintbrush still busily swishing along their exteriors before we could  intervene .

This bein g just out of our immediate reach was the ultimate in his  exploratory fun.

He was seconds away from us doing what he did best …experiemt to see what things are like. What will they do if I do this ? or that?

Yes, he was still  delighting in the sensory as we were momentarily waylayed in wide eyed shock.

Stop !

This direction from several of us simultaneously, his supposed guardians of safety, only gave him more verve,more hutsbah to hurriedly  go on. Now  he tasted the green colored water housing the little brush .

With ticklish abandon, the remaining water in the cup he flung upwards ,carefree into the air ,splashing and coloring green , the table , the chairs, the floor, his shirt, my colleagues new sweater , her hair …with water color.

All to his great delight! The closed world of a severely autistic child opened for a moment and he filled it with color.

Yes, he did clean up the mess with  a grand smile of satisfaction and giggly laughter.

The opportunity to experience this green was worth

the joy of moving his  human puppets.  It was thrilling .

He had to clean it up. And he did that with laughter,too.

No problemo.

All done! ok . Art is finished. Let’s clean up.

How profound is that?

Imagine with me for a bit  how different  our lives be if we simply experienced life, for what it is , give it a go, clean it up . and go on.

Without judgent . This is our experience. Be in it. Laugh wildly, enjoy the chance to know it and go on .

Now…

What does the  next experience hold?

Let’s see.

 

CHOICES

we can’t say

we did not know

what was happening.

all of what we now experience in life

is the result of choices we have made

or

our lack of action,

whether in this life or

prior ones .

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it depression …?

u may not b depressed , u may just b carrying around old  feelings

of yours or others there

 

you may not really have pain there

it may be  u stuck feelings u didnt want to feel there

 

u may not be  forever scattered

you mught just need to center yourself

 

going in circles ?

repeating non productive behaviors or treading water  ?

 

its time for an energy shower

if u choose.

are u ready?

turn the pages herein

a  path lies

before u,

i can show you

how.