Once u were just someone i was curious about.
Once your travels were simply an adventure to be known.
An immature ,wounded curiosity may have sensed the power that you wield to destroy
and it called to you for healing that you could not give.
It was introduced to you,the traitor, and your gifts of separation, duality, power over, deception, survival, denial of the truth.
and in a moment of deep regret disconnected from its natural healing embrace of unending love .
Here u are as i dreaded ,as i sustpected u probably , could be , maybe there
I did not want to see u .
I shut down feeling u until u squeezed yourself free from my grasp to ooze out thru everything i did and said .
I suppressed u until u mutated a thousand strong and integrated entirely into my life,
until my sense of self dwindled to self hatred and disgust , feeling unwanted and unloved ,
until l imagined how it could be to disappear from the face of the earth,
so intolerable was the thought of your living in me.
I could not bear even the possibility that you were there , a part of me.
It required of me abilities beyond humanness to accept and to love
abilities we all have access to,
yet feel unworthy to receive .
May the longing of our true self’s heart continually create first responses
of love everlasting , all encompassing.
May we enter unencumbered into the cave of our own true hearts to