Another layer is shed . An identity I lived and believed to be me is gone. No funeral or memorial, however. a death of me,another one has occurred.
It was easier than I had ever imagined. No actually I never did wonder about that. I just assumed it would be most difficult, somewhere there in the quiet corners of my mind where ideas silently take hold .
This is who I was .I was comfortable with her walking about.She disarmed the agitated.
Then again for her to be my face , my manner, so much else had to lie still as if underneath floorboards, catching splintered glimpses of movement , wishing to be among the dancers .
I did not get how simple the unraveling could be .I played life the hard way as one who requires suffering , pain , tears, impactful stories to make a point.Who wouldn’t succumb to such a display of humanness?
And so I did for much of my life be the victim. This week I realized that it takes just as much energy to be a victim as it does to be empowered . It ‘s a choice. I win either way.
Being strong ,however, I only need me to go quietly inside , be fully present with what I am feeling, multitask , while I am doing other things , acknowledge the truth and let go of everything else.
I don’t need your eyes to tempt me further into a downward descent. I don’t need an audience. I like them. Its more energy for me .Yet, I don’t need to say anything, to be anything .
I inhale as I remember that I love the truth . I exhale that which was taking my breath away. I repeat this as long as it takes to let go of whatever was on my back.
It’s a bit embarrassing if I care about who knows my story.But the deep heart of spirit is not laden with stories.
Being inside with one’s feeling in the present moment allows one to quickly note this is true or not true. The answer unhinges the feelings immediately, easily , no worries , no muss, no fuss. So strong is the power of truth that nothing else is needed to say.
The feeling presents, expresses as it best knows how, maybe bringing in accompanying feelings, maybe all the talk that supports it that runs in your head, we listen with rapt attention , we are accepting it completely, loving it thru and thru , whilst holding the strongest membranes of protection between ourselves as a whole deliberate being of oneness, witnessing the approaching death of separation in ourselves.
It is a most delicious melding of forces, a wedding , a marriage , a return to love , a birth of the new and greater expansion in ourselves. More o f us is here to represent as we say , to stand firm resolute in the truth . This is as it is .
I find it profoundly simple to say to whatever is showing up whether it be jealousy, anger, vengeance, sadness, despair ” I acknowledge that you are here. I love the truth . I love the truth. ”
.All feelings as I experience them are a search for love .To say.” I love the truth .” is sign language , code wording, Pavlovian signals to my brain and and heart ,” Go into higher functioning , you forgot momentarily the power that resides within you to change your reality. Go now.Stay there.
Drop the interest in the present fear chosen scenario.Dwell in the still , quiet abode of oneness.”
Present scenario deleted.Mission accomplished.